A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.”
With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, “Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!”
As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, “Yes! Yes! I won! I won!” She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, “What did she roll?” The other answers, “I don’t know, I thought you were watching.”
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MY NEIGHBOR THREW EGGS AT MY CAR BECAUSE IT “BLOCKED THE VIEW” OF HIS HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS. So, last Halloween, I walked outside to find my car covered in eggs. I thought it was a prank at first, but then I noticed the egg splatters reached my neighbor Brad’s sidewalk. Suspicious, I confronted him. His response? “Your car’s blocking the view of my Halloween decorations.” I was stunned. “You egged my car because it was parked in front of your house? You didn’t ask me to move it—you just ruined it?” Brad shrugged like it was no big deal. “How can people appreciate my display if they can’t see it from the road? You park there every day. It’s ruining the vibe.” My blood was boiling. “Brad, I’m a single mom with newborn twins. I park close because I have to carry babies, a stroller, and bags multiple times a day.” Without a care, he replied, “Not my problem. Find another spot.” I didn’t bother arguing. I stayed calm and pretended to understand so that he didn’t suspect my upcoming Halloween party revenge. ⬇️
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